There are three areas I would like you to pay close attention to. The first is the introduction. The opening paragraph is the first bit of writing your readers will experience. We want our readers to enjoy our writing, so we give them our very best writing in the first paragraph to convince them to keep reading. There are several ways we can hook our readers. Here are just a few ideas:
- start with a question
- create a scenario the readers may be familiar with
- put the reader in your shoes
- draw the reader in with dialogue (this helps the reader feel as though he/she is personally involved in the situation)
- paint a picture with your words (imagery)
- use words and phrases that appeal to the senses
Some things to avoid:
- "I am going to write about . . ."
- "This is a paper about . . ."
- "This is my writing assignment . . ."
We also talked about transitions. You have been assigned to write about three separate experiences that relate to some lesson you have learned about life. It may be tricky to create the transitions between these experiences because they seemingly have little to do with each other. There is, however, one common thread in your experiences--the lesson you have learned. If you focus on the main lesson when you are moving from one experience to another, your paper will have a better flow. Also, use appropriate words to create your transitions.
There are several websites that have good ideas about using transitional words:
http://larae.net/write/transition.html
http://www.studygs.net/wrtstr6.htm
http://jc-schools.net/write/transition.htm
The third thing I would like you to look for when you revise is whether or not you have enough detail about your experiences. Be sure to explain who, what, when, where, why and how when you are describing your details.
To revise, please have two friends or family members read your paper paying attention to your transitions, your introduction, and the details you have included in your description of your experiences. After they have read your paper, they should write down three questions they have about your experiences. You will turn these two lists of questions in with your final paper. You will answer the questions they have asked you in your final draft.
Be prepared to work on your final draft in class tomorrow. This means you should have your first draft completed with lots of notes written in the margins reminding you of the things you need to change to make your paper better. Good luck!
